| i say hey my friend |
[16 Nov 2009|04:51pm] |
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music |
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rotersand - i cry |
] |
don't let it end we've got to try, try while we still can
i've had these dreams lately. and they keep getting stronger and worse. i've always been a dreamer, and easily able to remember what i was dreaming about the night before. generally i have had control over them. able to turn the dream world into either something i was able to take advantage of or at least manipulate. but these new dreams. they are hyper realistic. sometimes i don't even know i'm awake anymore when they are over. i keep doing whatever i was doing in the dream. its not really a problem of confusion however, that passes. the problem is content. i wish i could forget, and just sleep, and gain peace. i guess there are some things we are not meant to enjoy.
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| grumble grumble *german* grumble |
[14 Sep 2009|11:00pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
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music |
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rammstein - mein teil |
] |
i have contracted a virus of some kind. probably transfered over from the overly excessive amount of contact with people for the last few weeks. there was dragon con. there was project pitchfork. there was raj's house warming party. then joe's engagement party. a bachalor party with michael. pretty much non-stop back to back adventure. not that i would have it any other way. i'd rather die with my boots on then lay around and go quietly into the night. course tonight i'm resting up with my 2nd pot of tea, plotting away. i am already hatching a completely improptu scheme to spend a week out in the mountains hiding from people. probably doing some monsterous amount of hiking in the rockies. but i guess that will have to wait. got to figure out what to do with darkborne while he is here this week. he is getting here wednesday night and i have thursday and friday off. 4 day weekend is going to kill me!
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| project pitchfork |
[11 Sep 2009|12:52am] |
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mood |
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dancey |
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music |
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the REAL time killer |
] |
saw them today. totally awesome. as usually atlanta turned out an underwhelming crowd. but i did run into a couple cool folks i like to talk to. got quite a few comments on my 'stache. and was told by one person that i should name it peter...and another that it should be murphy. so i think i shall call it, peter murphy! this world is wierd. ha
and yes, i are a white bear. and no i are not a DJ. and yes i are a stuff. and no i are not a different guy with the same name. thank you for clearing that up.
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| the persistance of memory |
[31 Aug 2009|08:49am] |
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mood |
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worried |
] |
it seems like, no matter what i do the world is always conspiring against me. not that i ever let that stop me and my evil plans. ha. but sometimes i would like to come out of things not being scarred. i wish i could just remember all of the success and amazing things i have done but forget about all the crap that went along with it. i don't dwell on either side, i just give them both a fair remembering. if you have to sell your soul to the devil to get things done, wouldn't it be just that you could just enjoy the thing without constantly thinking about wether or not it was worth the price? i guess in a way it keeps me focused. if i pay $1000 for a trip i make sure to squeeze out every ounce of adventure and don't let laziness keep me down for even a single day of rest. but it seems like it is not possible for me to live in the moment. almost all of my enjoyment from activities comes after the fact. after i carefully analize what happened and how it effected me, and after careful consideration to the energy spend, problems created, and fun had.
in other news it has been 4 years in the south and i still don't like snow.
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| you hold a candle i once lit |
[23 Jul 2009|04:47pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
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music |
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Apoptygma Berzerk - Unicorn |
] |
through out the week i've become increasingly jaded about the world. like what is going on out there guys? are we seriously going to keep having the same arguments until civilizaion just falls apart...then what is every going to say? i told you so? is that the best we can come up with? is every black guy arrested racially profiled? is every white person that asks questions to both sides an instigator? is the president wrong when he says, WTF guys if i told you my plan was to lose health care for 40,000 americans this year you would freak out but using the current model we have that is what is going to happen...and everyone is like OMG FUCK NO I DONT WANT TO SHARE THE FREE CLINIC WITH THE HOMELESS!!!!! and the job is like sorry bro profits are record high and we are buying you a brand new shirt and here are some free cupcakes for your birthday but no you worthless piece of shit you can't get a raise or a day off and your benifits are being cut just in case you were asking but yeah you better repeat in chorus with everyone else "at least we still have a job"
yeah i pretty much give up on this world. i'm going to VNV nation tonight and fuck everyone else for existing you useless slobs. i threw away my car when gas was $5 a gallon and i got rid of my cable before it was cool and yeah i dont eat mechanically processed chicken while eating diet pills wondering why i'm so fat...
*sighrawrgrrmeowbooahhhhh!!*
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| the beat goes on |
[06 Jul 2009|05:57pm] |
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mood |
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full |
] |
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music |
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VNV Nation - Tomorrow Never Comes |
] |
i just found out that i got selected for jury duty. i have never been before, ever. not sure exactly what i should expect. i'm figuring that it'll be something lame like i will just go in and they will tell me that the guy accepted a plea or something and i'll get to come home. but maybe not, it could turn into something more interesting. not that i am one of those people who are facinated by crime stories, quite the contrary. but i am one of those guys that doesn't like to go to work and listening to lawyers argue is 100% better than going to the office tomorrow.
had a fairly insane birthday weekend. pretty much a 4 day non stop party. complete with german chocolate cake, fireworks, board games, and crepes....lots of nutella crepes. yum.
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| yay for me |
[03 Jul 2009|01:11am] |
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its my birthday. yay me!
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| i get around |
[19 Jun 2009|04:12pm] |
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mood |
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curious |
] |
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music |
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Grendel - Harsh Generation |
] |
now i've had some adventurous travels before. but i got to thinking about this last one. it seems like it'll be hard to beat. here's how it went down.
plane motorized rickshaw walk. train ferry boat. cab(open air) motorcycle bus(armored) cab(car) cab(van) scooter elephant
yeah pretty much hit everything right there. scooter is definatly the way to go. i might look into getting one, for the slightly longer distance non pedal trips. anybody have any experience with those things? is scooter better than a regular motorcycle? better on gas? anything? it was ride or die so i am sure i could get around on either at this point just not sure of the pros/cons of both.
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| where is the promised land? |
[17 Jun 2009|10:52am] |
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music |
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Covenant - Brave New World |
] |
i am back, from a 10 day excursion to india. in 10 days i manged to go to: mumbai, new delhi, agra, and all the little towns of goa: anjuna, calengutte, baga, panjaim, old goa, vagator, and probably a ton of other places i didnt even realize i had crossed through.
it was a really interesting experience. i'm not sure where to even begin to explain such a place. i'm still trying to figure it out myself. it just seems like its a total 180 from america. and there are so many people there. it doesn't really seem better, or worse actually just different. the people are clearly less wealthy. but only when seen through the lens of material ownership. the majority are in a constant struggle to provide food, but otherwise are off enjoying themselves or their friends and family. most places are open from sun up to sun down and you've got people putting in 12-16 hour days. but its not like a job where they or their bosses are afraid you might spend 6 minutes in the bathroom instead of 5(which is like where i work)
the entire system seems like its held together by nothing and could unravel at any moment. but really why would it if the people don't want it to? example there are no traffic lights, and most roads dont even bother to have lines painted on them or signs. if a guy is riding his horse he rides it on the freeway. if there is a slow scooter in the way, just go into the other side of the road. stuck at an intersection, try to squeeze 4 cars into 2 lanes. instead of closing 3 lanes of traffic for 2 weeks while they work on the road you better heed the orange cones or you'll fall into the hole in the road. amazingly i never saw a single traffic accident except one. and not so amazingly it was one involving myself. :p i knocked a guy off his motorcycle. he went sailing into the air, bike skidding in a shower of sparks across the land. he got up covered in mud from the road, dusted himself off and rode away. no police on the scene. no law suits. no one was hurt, he was barely going 8 miles an hour, a standard speed on the little 1 lane barely paved roads. that incident seemed to sum up the entire trip for me. it was much simplier. the people of india were not out to get one another. they lived collectivly together. and with nature. sharing their space with their sacred cows, dogs, pigs, chickens, monkeys, birds, camels, elephants, and cats. waste was shunned. most stores only electing to air condition 1 tiny room used as escape from the 100+ temperatures of the day, instead of our amazingly energy consumptive need to keep the air inside our closets 68 degrees as if our shoes some how felt the difference.
all in all it was a place that made me wish we could find some happy medium. no amount of frustration i experienced could be expressed in a mere journal post after going into the 10th shop that had a sign that said "wifi high speed internet avaliable here" only to find that they were an umbrella store that just thought the name sounded futureistic. in fact the names and looks of the loctions seemed to have nothing to do with what was going on inside. run down shacks outside opened up to be quite palatial inside. and fancy looking outsides with great western sounding names were shells looking to trap tourists.
india seemed to be an amazing game, and once you learned how to play it made life interesting and fun there. overall i'd say i really enjoyed being there, but i was quite ready to come home. there are just alot of things i wish i could bring back to our society. we aren't as advanced as we think we are.
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| The rain will wash me away... |
[02 Jun 2009|03:16pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
] |
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music |
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Combichrist - Scarred |
] |
All structures collapse Nothing covers my grave Only destruction remains
so i hear that the GM closings, will immediatly effect over 8000 people in the michigan/detroit area. i hope that doesnt include any body i know. everyone i can remember ever working for GM, including myslef, have already been laid off. and an increasing amount of people, also including myself, dont even live in that state anymore. at this point they the people in charge of that company are pretty much getting what they deserve. its unfortunate that most of the people that were running the show 10-20 years ago and sucking up all the huge profits are gone now. my solution would be to require CEO's and board members to be forced to buy major stock shares of any company they work for and be locked into them for at least 10 years. so that their paychecks and huge cash outs would be linked to long term company viability rather than what they can squeeze out this quarter.
this is particularly frustrating to me right now as the company i currently work for are pulling their stunts exactly from the GM play book and are acting like they are something totally different. unfortunatly for them i can see through their total and utter bull shit, and like to be very vocal about my dissent. it doesn't matter though because the first order of business was to make everyone terrified and living in fear of everything. it's amazing how flexible peoples morals, principles, and integrity become once they buy into the culture of fear.
omg i am going to lose my job if i dont do XYZ. wake up you idiots. the people in charge are going to run your company into the ground, and you are not going to have a job anyway! forget about your long term stragety, retirement, savings, stock options, benefits. they just want you to take more crap, do more for less, and squeeze you for a while so they can make EVEN MORE money.
some where along the way the lessons of history have become lost on the people of america. and apathy and fear have replaced our spirit and courage. we are a culture of quite complainers, hoping no one notices us. tell me, when is the last time you remember their being a strike? union take over? people chained to their desks? (okay i'm cheating i already know when...but do you?)
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| yeah i'm slightly insane |
[28 May 2009|02:38pm] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
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music |
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APB - Suffer in Silence |
] |
i am a slacker at updating my live journal lately. which is wierd because i'm usually logged in checking it. also strange because i've been jam packed with things going on.
yesterday met angela from the airport on her return from LA. we went to 6 feet under for a drink and to watch the sunset over the cemetary. thats not really my favorite place, but their view is worth the price of admission.
spent the weekend hanging out with mike. he's back from whatever the army does to him in kansas. apparently makes him want to come home and create hang overs. instead of letting him whimp out i made him go to the farmers market with me and discuss intra-personal relationships! i was mean to our waitress at park tavern the next day...she gave me a discount.
memorial day, which was monday, i went to best buy to finally escape the **HORROR** that is 1.1 sound that i've been stuck listening to for ever. i have resolved to not take the easy way out and just get replacement speakers but instead to join the digital age and grab a 5.1 system and re-wire my house with fiber optics. i am confident in my ability to pull this off. however, best buy has shit for sound selection. and instead i was fooled into spending all my auditory expansion money on a TV(or as i like to call it, omfg that monitor on your PC is HUGE) all in the name of playing the wii that had spent the last 6 months hiding out in a drawer in the living room. seriously, they have bubble bobble on that thing, you may never see me again.
some where in the void between this and my previous post i manged to build an arbor in east lark park. go see funker vogt and nine inch nails. cancel all my mmorpg accounts.(it was tough, i'm over it now) go to detroit and eat everything under the sun. enjoyed a birthday party. went to a casino. destroyed the nine inch nails add on for rock band. have 2x midnight board game parties.(and lose) go to the beach in savannah.
oh next friday i'll be in NYC. and then kiss me goodbye i'm going to mumbai, india for a week to ride elephants and pet tigers.
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| Excited! |
[28 Apr 2009|05:20pm] |
stole this from my lovely friend pleasurekatzen you better believe that I'll be there.
VNV NATION - NORTH AMERICA PART 1 - with special guests War Tapes and SAM
SPECIAL PRESALE TICKETS : From Tuesday April 28th until Friday May 1st, you can buy tickets for these shows from us, through Artist Arena, something we arranged so you can avoid the excess charges that other online ticket outlets may charge. From May 2nd, venues will sell tickets through their normal outlets.
Buy Tickets from Artist Arena here : (https://tix.artistarena.com/vnvnation/ ) Jun 27 USA Los Angeles, CA Nokia Theatre Jun 29 USA San Francisco, CA Grand Ballroom Jun 30 USA Portland, OR Barbeti's Pan Jul 01 USA Seattle, WA The Showbox Jul 03 USA Salt Lake City, UT Murray Theatre Jul 05 USA Denver, CO Gothic Theatre Jul 07 USA Minneapolis, MN Station Four Jul 08 USA Milwaukee, WI Turner Hall Jul 10 USA Chicago, IL House of Blues Jul 11 USA Detroit, MI CroFoot Ballroom Jul 12 USA Cleveland, OH Peabody's Jul 14 CAN Toronto, ON Phoenix Jul 15 CAN Montreal, QC Club Soda Jul 17 USA Boston, MA Paradise Jul 18 USA New York, NY Nokia Theatre Jul 19 USA Philadelphia, PA TLA Jul 21 USA Washington, DC 9:30 Club **Jul 23 USA Atlanta, GA Masquerade ** Jul 24 USA St. Petersburg, FL The Ritz Jul 25 USA Ft. Lauderdale, FL Culture Room Jul 27 USA Dallas, TX Granada Theater Jul 28 USA San Antonio, TX White Rabbit Jul 30 USA Phoenix, AZ Marquee Theater
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| animal intelligence |
[14 Apr 2009|04:23pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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today the kitties decided that, rather then waiting for me to feed them at 5pm. they should instead sneak into the kitchen. knock over the bag of humane society food off the shelf. push it into the closet where no one can see. tear the bag apart. eat as much as their little fatkins bellys will hold. then come to me for the normal 4:30 "omg its 4:30 is it ever going to be 5 can you please just feed us we love you purr purr purr" beg festival.
only slightly more amusing than the time the one of them held open the regular food box, so the other one could jump into the box and swim around in it for a while.
damn you bulk pet food discounts!!!!
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| a life, well lived |
[13 Apr 2009|12:21am] |
busy week. saw 2 concerts, totaling 5 bands.(gothsicles = awesomest) went to a mad magazine art show. had a cook out. played board games. drove a convertible for the first time. went to the north georgia alps. ate a grilled cheese on a sub, not bread. managed to have beer, wine, lambic, gin, and spiked punch. went to the mall twice, picked up my engagement ring for spiffyk. was caught in golfball sized hail. got a sunburn. had a kitten claw out my throat. volunteered at a homeless kitchen. went for a walk along the chattahoochee river. bought armored leather gloves. visited a winery. rode my bike ~17 miles.
what did you do?
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| Presidential Power |
[27 Jan 2009|09:41am] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
] |
i just got back from the inaguration of barack obama. went to DC for like 5 days. stayed anywhere i could find a place, in true ghetto traveler style. slept in cars, futons, floors, with people i knew, didnt know, and have known for a long time. stood outside in the cold for a realllllllly long time. of course january 20th was the coldest day of the week. and we got out there around 6:30 am to stand in line (i had a ticket mind you) to go through security, to stake out a spot. it was all worth it really. i had a perfect view of the tiny little obama across the reflecting pool, just a few hundred feet across from the capital building. literally millions of people standing behind me cheering along. i dont know about how historic it was, that seems to just be a buzz word thrown around to make people feel important. everything we do is historic. just as much attention was given to the fact that this is the 44th president (history of repetition being important) as the fact that obama is black (history of chang being important) and those two seem to be at odds with each other. does following the long time tradition add to history the way we see businesses proudly proclaim "est 1950" on a show maker. or does history mean ah ha, i was the first person to do this thing. espeically know in a digital age where every detail about every person can be recorded indefinatly, every action we take is historic. so much so that the very point of something being historic is really lost on me all together. i'd really rather ignore the significance of wether or not something was of historic importance and just stick to doing things that are good/just. i dont care who first used a stimulus plan to fix the economy, or how many times its worked before only that if it does work, we do it NOW! if it doesnt, we find something new and do it.
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| something i copied over from masui |
[01 Jan 2009|08:41pm] |
New Year's Meme from Gunn 1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? alot of things. it would be hard to mention them all here.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? lose weight, yes about 100#
3. How will you be spending New Year's Eve? i spent it at home, lighting fireworks
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes, i miss you sera.
5. What countries did you visit? switzerland, germany, italy, the vatican, france, holland
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? health!
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? january 25th.
8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year? I learned to walk.
9. What was your biggest failure? i survived.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? yes, i died.
11. What was the best thing you bought? i bought board games for xmas for everyone that got presents.
12. Where did most of your money go? hospital/lawyer bills.
13. What song will always remind you of 2008? almost wasted - rotersand 'all my time was almost wasted.'
14. What do you wish you'd done more of? learned new things.
15. What do you wish you'd done less of? worried.
16. What was your favorite TV program? i dont have a TV, watch TV, or know anything about TV sorry. :(
17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? pretty sure i hated my ex-gf for a while.
18. What was the best book you read? audacity of hope - barack obama
19. What was your greatest musical discovery? rotersand, thanks jenny
20. What was your favorite film of this year? not sure i didn't watch many movies, not having a TV and all.
21. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I hung out with jenny, she made me brownies and got me gifts.
22. What kept you sane? a dead kitten.
23. Who did you miss? sera monster. why did you leave me kitten?
24. Who was the best new person you met? jenny.
25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. when you die, you are finished. enjoy what you have while you have it.
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| its that time of year |
[23 Dec 2008|12:38pm] |
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music |
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Haujobb - Monologue |
] |
xmas time. and that means its time for another road trip out. heading out to savannah ga tonight to go to spiffk's parents for the holiday. i dont mind the visiting its the 4 hour drive each way in a car that gets to me. who wants to be in transit for that long? at least i was thinking ahead and got her some awesome new industrial beats for xmas. we'll bring some haujobb or rotersand with us to keep us company. :p
oh PS, live journal i miss you. new years resolution comes early, more journaling!
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| weekend recount |
[21 Jul 2008|10:17am] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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Beborn Beton - Life is a Distance |
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friday after work I went on my first ever distance bike ride. 15 miles to make it to stone mountain, a huge boulder thing that sits over on the east side of atlanta. its surrounded by a national park place with random naturey things to do there. jenny and i rode out around 7 and got there around 10. pretty poor time but i was really unexperienced and we did make a rather lengthy stop for dinner at the only place we could find...citgo gas station. yeah we are true adventure professionals because we got microwave bean burritos and grabed some tasty beverages to tide us over. we finally got into the park and it was the most scary thing i think i've ever done. whizzing around in the total darkness of the park at like 20 miles an hour down hill with no way to stop. consequently i still(its been friday to monday) cannot feel all the fingers in my right hand i was holding on so tight. eventually we got there and found the camp site by the lake. we tossed up our little target tent by the light of our 2 little bike flashlights, jenny being a great help and actually breaking hers off so we had a mobile source of illumination.(i'm fairly sure this was not her intention) i guess we were to loud because someone came over and wanted to tell us to 'keep it down' who goes camping and is out by 10pm? shesh. we went over and sat around by the lake for a while but it didn't last long because we were pretty exhausted.
woke up the next morning pretty early and munched up some trail mix before we started our mechanically assisted ascent of the afformentioned mountain top. it was warm up there and pictures were taken. unfortunatly the heat combined with the polution kept me from getting a nice view of the city. didnt stay up there for really long, and then started the ride back.
it went much quicker, at least it seemed to. i think my bike skills are improving at a dramatic rate. at least i've picked up balance and speed. i still get pretty afraid of cars. i'm not sure if that is because of being on a tiny piece of aluminum speeding around the machines and it makes me nervous, or if its some kind of post accident trama that i have. tough to say but either way i dont like to be any where near cars.
stopped off for lunch at a german resturant on the way back. split the sausage sampler, which was quickly dubed 'the wurst lunch ever' ha. silly germans tricking us americans with $12 hot dogs. our own fault i suppose. german potatoes are good though, and i'm a huge fan of the kraut. mmm. still didnt want to go home so we swung over to the farmers market and grabed some samosa's for snacky goodness. also picked up some really great 'malbec' wine from argentina. it had cute kitty pictures on the bottle, but turned out to be quite tasty, and is highly recommended.
then it was time to rest...for like an hour before it was time to get back on the bike and ride downtown for gothy dancy happy music at the spot. the music was decent and dancing was fun. i mean how can you really go wrong with industrial beats and dancing. plus the bartender there was super nice and friendly, even when he stole my housekey. :p after a very vigorous night of stomping and spinning we finished out by heading over to the majestic all night eating shop. but getting chased away because there was a huge wedding party there! for serious who takes their new bride out for greasy majestic at 3:30am on saturday. shouldnt you guys be off honey mooning some where?
sunday woke up slightly later, cooked up some awesome mexican food. lounged around for a while before we headed over to the square to play some bocce ball. my first ever time experiencing this game very similar to the canadian sport of curling except without the brooms or cold. did decent, one my first game and then lost in the winners bracket. no big deal there except for having to trade uncomfortables with jennys ex boyfriend again. why this guy continues to stalk around to ever event that she and i attend, and then creep around and never speak to anyone is beyond me. maybe its like some masochistic form of pleasure he gets out of the whole deal. having people not want him to be around. regardless he's just going to get himself uninvited to things in the future so act like a fuck up all you want dude. post sports activity there was dinner of hummas and calamari along with more of the previously mentioned mal-omgawesomenessbottled-bec wine and then heading home.
i'm pretty sure i crashed immediatly, and was quite surprised to find myself dreaming about having lunch with billy idol. he just shows up at the wierdest times. heh. and michael was driving a pink VWbug. it was very odd, but kind of fun. all in all a fine way to close out an excellent weekend of awesome adventures. =)
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| i have no doubt from what i've seen i have never wanted more |
[01 Jul 2008|09:22am] |
| [ |
mood |
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calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
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vnv nation - solitary |
] |
last night i went for a midnight walk in a civil war cemetary with jenny. of course midnight walks in places like that are frowned upon, so we had to scale the wall around the outside. not as simple for a half broken old man like myself but i managed to get over somewhat quickly. we took a blanket and laid in between some trees, in perhaps one of the only dark spots in the middle of the city. first time i had seen stars in a while, there weren't many but there were enough to make out the basics of the sky. while we were there we saw a shooting star, it was really pretty amazing.
it was really calming to be hanging out in the cemetary. all those dead people around kind of made me feel really glad to have survived everything i have so far and to be able to walk out of there. sometimes you are just glad to be alive, at least i am.
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| why is the burning heart determined... |
[25 May 2008|01:55am] |
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today i went to the democratic national selection nomination. i won the state representative nomination. that means i get to go to denver as an official state representative, i get to have 100% full access to everything at the national convention. yes that means you might see me on TV. that means i have a great service to pay to the state of georgia to make sure that my people are representied. i feel really proud right now. i had lunch with the mayor of the city. i sat with the state house representatives. i talked to everyone that would listen. i am going to take this very seriously, and work very hard. thanks. :)
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